Jewish men and Jewish women

[shiva2999]

After a childhood mostly spent among white Christians, my first real experience with Jews was at York U., known in Toronto as our "Jewish University", as opposed to U of T, which was the bastion of white Christian power.

And one of the things I noticed early on was the Jewish girls didn't like Jewish boys and Jewish boys didn't like Jewish girls.

Sure, both sexes felt that ultimately as Jews, they would marry Jews, but until then it was more fun to fuck Christians and atheists.

https://lilith.org/articles/jewish-womenjewish-men-detoxifying-our-relationships/

 

Jewish Women/Jewish Men Detoxifying Our Relationships

BY SUSAN WEIDMAN SCHNEIDER

Interview with Esther Perel

SEPTEMBER 18, 1987

LILITH

Why are so many Jewish women and Jewish men turned off to each other? Why is it that so many Jewish women describe Jewish men as definitely not sexy, Jewish men describe Jewish women as not good in bed… ? Why do so many Jewish singles say that they would marry a Jew but they don’t want to date Jews?

PEREL

Jewish men and Jewish women hold a number of stereotypes about each other that makes it harder to relate to each other. As we look at these stereotypes, we see how they are cultivated inside the group, that most of them work as in-group stereotypes, even if they have been taken from stereotypes projected onto Jews from the majority culture. These stereotypes exacerbate bate—and sometimes cripple—the relations between Jewish men women, married or not married.

LILITH

Let’s start with some of the stereotypes Jewish women and men have of each other.

PEREL

If you look at the general pool of stereotypes about Jewish women, you will see: very good mothers, caring people, strong sense of family. But you will also see; pushy, domineering, materialistic, bitchy, demanding, intrusive, manipulating through guilt, particularly in the sexual realm.

There exists the stereotype of the Jewish woman who is used to being catered to and taken care of; she’s seen as too dependent, wanting to be pampered. On the other hand, she’s also too assertive, and Jewish men also see her as sexually unattractive and more sexually inhibited. And there’s also the “Jewish mother” stereotype: self-sacrificing, smothering, protective.

LILITH

What are some of the stereotypes of Jewish men?

PEREL

When I ask participants in my groups, the characteristics they associate with Jewish men are: caring, good providers, stable in their jobs, non-violent, non-alcoholic, strong intellectual ability, thin, but—mothers’ boys, lawyers from New Jersey or Long Island, unathletic, nerdish, physically unattractive. Jewish women find Jewish men are “living too much in their heads,” and are emotionally absent. There is also a stereotype of a Jewish man who has been groomed for success and provided for and has had life made very easy so that he could then go and study or go out and not have to deal with a whole host of responsibilities; there’s a certain element of infantalization and an expectation when entering marriage that they’ll be taken care of.

LILITH

Why are these images and stereotypes so overwhelmingly negative—and why especially so in the sexual arena?

PEREL

I often hear from Jewish women in my groups that they struggle to have positive feelings about their Jewishness and their sexuality when bringing these two together … an ambivalence. Sexuality and Jewishness are two parts of their identity which often stand in conflict with one another. Jewish men often feel this, too.

LILITH

Are we saying that the images Jewish women and Jewish men have of themselves (not just of one another) are not sexual?

PEREL

Yes, many do not associate Jewishness with a positive sexual quality. There’s a repertoire of sexual language that is missing in how they describe themselves. Jewish men rarely employ the attributes of masculine, sexual, hotblooded, and virile in describing themselves. When Jewish women describe themselves or other women, their descriptions, too, are lacking in sexual attributes about themselves.

LILITH

What don’t you hear from Jewish women that you might expect?

PEREL

I would expect to hear, from a woman describing herself: sensual, seductive, desirable, attractive, or something related to her female identity. The sexual part is somehow missing in the way people describe and define themselves, and sex is often a particularly toxic issue with Jewish couples.

...much more...

 

[SpikedLemonade]

I knew this post was coming but then again I have known Shiva for over 2 decades.

[SpikedLemonade]

You see, Shiva sees himself as THE JEWISH PUSSY WHISPERER...

 

 

[shiva2999]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interfaith_marriage_in_Judaism

Interfaith marriage in Judaism (also called mixed marriage or intermarriage) was historically looked upon with very strong disfavor by Jewish leaders, and it remains a controversial issue among them today. Many Jews followed the Talmud and all of resulting Jewish law Halakha until the advent of new Jewish movements following the Jewish Enlightenment resulted in the "Haskala"; in Halakha marriage between a Jew and a gentile is both prohibited, and also void under Jewish law.^[1]

A 2020 survey conducted in the United States by the Pew Research Center found that 42% of all currently married Jewish respondents indicated they have a non-Jewish spouse. Among those who had gotten married since 2010, 61% were intermarried and the percent increases to 72% when Orthodox Jews were excluded from the data.^[2]