SpikedLemonade Posted January 1 Share Posted January 1 The story of the "Florida Gator Men" is as terrifying as it sounds Let's face it: When it comes to the stories that come out of the states, few are weirder than Florida stories. It's not a bad thing. Personally, I think Florida is the most interesting state I've lived in next to my home state of California. And that truly is saying something because California is notoriously buck wild. And with weird states come even weirder urban legends. But honestly, I have to say I'm pretty disappointed with the selection of urban legends coming out of Florida that are not haunted related. I understand there's going to be some overlap, but come on, give us something, Florida. And no, the Skunk Ape doesn't count. I genuinely thought Florida was going to have to be carried on the back of ghost stories and Florida Man forever, until I found the legend of the Gator Men. Oh yeah, it's as scary as you thought. But first, what are the Florida Gator Men? Reports of what are known as Gator Men, disturbing "bipedal creatures with quasi-reptilian features" that live in the Florida Everglades, have dated back all the way to the 1700's. And not only that, they've also been found in "every large swampland in the American southeast" potentially due to migration. Super scary. A little bit of Florida you do not want to take with you. The Gator Men are said to be "approximately 5-feet long, with a child-sized torso which tapers off into a long, muscular tail — complete with stubby, gator-like legs — this creature seems to represent a physical bridge between the mammalian and reptilian genus." They are said to be able to "reason" and communicate through "howls and grunts", and have "mastered the use of basic tools." That is terrifying. What's even weirder is you're able to see what is purported to be the carcass of a Gator Man lovingly called "Jake the Gator Man" at Marsh's Free Museum in Long Beach, Washington. According to Roadside America, Jake is situated in a "glass case near a row of vintage arcade machines." And Jake also has "the head and torso of a human and the lower body and tail of an alligator. His skin and scales are blackened and dried out, like a steak left on the barbecue too long; his teeth sharpened points, his eyes sockets are slits, and his hands are withered and claw-like." I'm never going to eat beef jerky again. Gross. Jake also has quite the reputation, with multiple possible backstories, with people saying they "swear" they saw Jake working as a freak for a traveling carnival, or as a New Orleans brothel valet. I'm not sure how Jake would bring in business on that front, but whatever works for advertising, right? And of course we've all seen Jake on the front page of rag magazines: "GATOR BOY DISCOVERED IN SWAMP". But, until further proven, it's simply a story, and one really fitting of Florida, I might add. Have you heard of the Gator Men of the Florida Everglades? Let me know in the comments! https://original.newsbreak.com/@evie-m-561146/2849045555994-the-story-of-the-florida-gator-men-is-as-terrifying-as-it-sounds Quote Do Your Part to Improve The Range -- Please put the TRIO OF TRUMP FLUFFERSTM on IGNORE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpikedLemonade Posted January 1 Share Posted January 1 That Florida look... Quote Do Your Part to Improve The Range -- Please put the TRIO OF TRUMP FLUFFERSTM on IGNORE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deleted Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 7 hours ago, micknaboz said: The 'New York Post' LMFAO Shut up racist. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Angry Byrds Posted January 2 Popular Post Share Posted January 2 7 hours ago, Very Wide Right said: Very good, you read the first line. Now read the LAWS she proposed. Bro, just let them do their thing. I can’t wait until Escape from New York is a real movie/tv show. F8 and ICrockets running for their lives screaming we’re on your side lmao. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thebowflexbody Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 7 hours ago, micknaboz said: The 'New York Post' LMFAO The New York Times. LOL. Fool. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thebowflexbody Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 7 hours ago, HipKat said: Enjoy that humidity. Should have picked Texas. Gets mighty humid in Texas too. Ever been to Houston? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thebowflexbody Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 5 hours ago, SpikedLemonade said: Plenty of new lies quoted here by others of Very Wide Ass' lies. Why wait the another year to move to Florida? Go now and start growing your mullet to fit in. You already have the necessary low IQ to adapt to Florida. You're such a joke you POS. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HipKat Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 8 minutes ago, Thebowflexbody said: Gets mighty humid in Texas too. Ever been to Houston? Oh yeah, I lived in Texas in the 80's Quote “There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind, never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thebowflexbody Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 4 minutes ago, HipKat said: Oh yeah, I lived in Texas in the 80's I was living in the DFW Metroplex from 1986 to 1987. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Very Wide Right Posted January 2 Author Share Posted January 2 1 hour ago, HipKat said: Oh yeah, I lived in Texas in the 80's Only steers and queers come from Texas, and you don't post like a steer, so that kind of narrows it down.... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpikedLemonade Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 Quote Do Your Part to Improve The Range -- Please put the TRIO OF TRUMP FLUFFERSTM on IGNORE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nuke Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 9 hours ago, Very Wide Right said: Only steers and queers come from Texas, and you don't post like a steer, so that kind of narrows it down.... 1 Quote Ed Oliver is my adopt-a-Bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrewMan Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 Florida.............................its America's Wang! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HipKat Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 10 hours ago, Very Wide Right said: Only steers and queers come from Texas, and you don't post like a steer, so that kind of narrows it down.... So, ICR is from Texas?? 2 Quote “There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind, never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micknaboz Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 15 hours ago, FanBack said: Shut up racist. A triple shot of stupid: FANBACK BOFLEX and the NEW YORK POST You guys crack me up. 1 Quote [/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Very Wide Right Posted January 2 Author Share Posted January 2 11 minutes ago, micknaboz said: A triple shot of stupid: FANBACK BOFLEX and the NEW YORK POST You guys crack me up. Yeah, until you get a job nobody is gonna take you serious here just so you know parasite. It is humorous watching you try to denegrate people that could buy and sell you any day of the week though. Get a job loser. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shiva2999 Posted January 3 Share Posted January 3 The perfect guys for a Florida party... 1 Quote "The Zarqawi PSYOP program is the most successful information campaign to date." ~ Gen. Mark (Killer) Kimmitt http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/archivos_pdf/911_newpearlharbor.pdf http://www.cooperativeresearch.org/project.jsp?project=911_project Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpikedLemonade Posted January 3 Share Posted January 3 No way a guy like Very Wide Ass could ever get loose with it like these good ol' boys. Unless you are talking specifically about Very Wide Ass' asshole. Shiva were you? Well you know why..he has 5-7 Blacks working on him. Quote Do Your Part to Improve The Range -- Please put the TRIO OF TRUMP FLUFFERSTM on IGNORE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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