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The story of Joe Republican


f8ta1ity54
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Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too. He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained. Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joes employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

Its noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day.

Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."

 

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6 minutes ago, Thebowflexbody said:

LOL.  Better a Repub than a fucking Socialist.  For the record, I'm an independent conservative.  Do I usually vote Republican?  Hell yes.  There's no other viable option.

what is socialism to you?

Joe its okay, we know what you are. Don't be afraid. Say it with me.

Its spelled F-A-S-C-I-S-T.

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35 minutes ago, f8ta1ity54 said:

its okay Joe. We know how tough your life is.

Oooh, good one for Bowman. He actually got nine words in that time

“There he goes. One of God's own prototypes.

A high-powered mutant of some kind, never even considered for mass production.

Too weird to live, and too rare to die.”

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3 hours ago, f8ta1ity54 said:

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too. He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained. Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joes employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

Its noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day.

Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."

Joe sits on his front porch, lights a 10$ cigar, drinking his daily after dinner scotch. He laughs, remembering how his equal opportunity co-worker David was complaining because his boyfriend Steve couldn’t get his sex change operation done in time for the gay rights parade. “Just tuck it in!”. Man, what a bunch of whiners gays have turned into!, Joe thinks as he is leaning back in his chair, blowing roiling puffs of smoke in the air. But I’m so grateful that liberals have done all this for me! They have to be God’s greatest creation!”. He pets his sweet boy, CarlJUNGle, a beautiful 105lb Rottweiler on the head. Then it hits him!

HAHAHAHAHA! This will be awesome, Joe thinks to himself. He goes to the kitchen, getting a bag, and grabs a rake from the garage.

Ten minutes later, he’s back on his chair, smoking his fine cigar and drinking his scotch, and laughing himself into tears. It’s the end of a beautiful day, just the sight of f8tal1ty, his smug dooshbag neighbor, stomping his front stoop with his 300$ Italian loafers, arms flailing and meerschaum pipe bouncing off the steps, trying to extinguish a big flaming bag of rottweiler poop.

 

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7 hours ago, jc856 said:

Joe sits on his front porch, lights a 10$ cigar, drinking his daily after dinner scotch. He laughs, remembering how his equal opportunity co-worker David was complaining because his boyfriend Steve couldn’t get his sex change operation done in time for the gay rights parade. “Just tuck it in!”. Man, what a bunch of whiners gays have turned into!, Joe thinks as he is leaning back in his chair, blowing roiling puffs of smoke in the air. But I’m so grateful that liberals have done all this for me! They have to be God’s greatest creation!”. He pets his sweet boy, CarlJUNGle, a beautiful 105lb Rottweiler on the head. Then it hits him!

HAHAHAHAHA! This will be awesome, Joe thinks to himself. He goes to the kitchen, getting a bag, and grabs a rake from the garage.

Ten minutes later, he’s back on his chair, smoking his fine cigar and drinking his scotch, and laughing himself into tears. It’s the end of a beautiful day, just the sight of f8tal1ty, his smug dooshbag neighbor, stomping his front stoop with his 300$ Italian loafers, arms flailing and meerschaum pipe bouncing off the steps, trying to extinguish a big flaming bag of rottweiler poop.

LOL.  Love it.  More please.

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12 hours ago, f8ta1ity54 said:

what is socialism to you?

Joe its okay, we know what you are. Don't be afraid. Say it with me.

Its spelled F-A-S-C-I-S-T.

Actually fascism, by it's proper definition is a form of socialism that recognizes limited private property rights for the industrial sector.  Unfortunately fascism, like socialism, has a tendency to slide into excessive regulation and totalitarianism.

I suggest you read Ayn Rand's 'Capitalism:  The Unknown Ideal'.  Read it once to absorb the overall philosophy and see how the disparate parts connect.  Then read each chapter in detail.

If you do so, the quality of your posts will be transformed.  Join the men of the mind.  Like me.     

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13 hours ago, f8ta1ity54 said:

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too. He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained. Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joes employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

Its noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day.

Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."

Yes, liberals saved the world.  This is a complete joke.  For every reference you must cite the person who did the initiative and prove they were a liberal and that it happened as yo seem to conjecture (if this was even your post).  Sadly, you cannot.  Fanback is victorious once again. 

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Let's do some good for this board and make this an open thread where we cite the accomplishments of great liberals through out history.

I'll start with two:

Rachel Carson killed 45 million Africans by pushing for the DDT ban.

Margaret Sanger started Planned Parenthood to foster the genocide of 'inferior' races.

 

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19 minutes ago, FanBack said:

Let's do some good for this board and make this an open thread where we cite the accomplishments of great liberals through out history.

I'll start with two:

Rachel Carson killed 45 million Africans by pushing for the DDT ban.

Margaret Sanger started Planned Parenthood to foster the genocide of 'inferior' races.

Obama and the beer summit!!!!  LOL

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21 minutes ago, FanBack said:

Let's do some good for this board and make this an open thread where we cite the accomplishments of great liberals through out history.

I'll start with two:

Rachel Carson killed 45 million Africans by pushing for the DDT ban.

Margaret Sanger started Planned Parenthood to foster the genocide of 'inferior' races.

Carter with the big hostage rescue and runaway inflation!!!

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14 minutes ago, FanBack said:

A true man of economic genius; he invented stagflation which economists previously considered impossible. 

And it reoccurred under Obama!

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Sack "The Buffalo Range's TRUSTED News Source!"

“When a well-packaged web of lies has been sold gradually to the masses over generations, the truth will seem utterly preposterous and its speaker a raving lunatic.” ~ Dresden James

Parler @NYexile

 

 

 

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