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HipKat

Satire: This Is Too Much, I Hate The World

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31yr Old Identifies As A 10yr Old Pee-Wee Football Player, Scores 21 Touchdowns In A Game

A local 31yr old man is getting a lot of media attention in Wichita Falls, Texas. The reason is because the 31yr old has identifies himself as a 10yr old pee-wee football player. Marvin Burks first identified himself as a 10 year old last year and tried to enroll into Barwise Junior High.

After not being able to enroll into Barwise Junior High, Burks signed up for pee-wee football. His argument was that he identified as a 10yr old football player. After all, other sports were allowing it as well. A man recently identified as a woman bicyclist and smashed the all time record. So how was this any different?

After parents and organizers of the league had a lengthy meeting, Marvin Burks was given the go to play. Marvin would solidify himself as the starting QB. In their very first game, Marvin destroyed the record books. He recorded 14 Touchdowns on 14 runs. He also had 632 rushing yards, averaging 43 yards per carry. He broke over 75 tackles, 9 on just one run. He threw for 392 yards on 30 passes. This included 7 TD passes, and a perfect completion rating. Luckily for the other team he didn’t play defense.

The final score was 129-7. Marvin was pulled after the first half because the score was 129-0. No need to keep your studs in the game and ramp up the score, after all it’s only pee-wee football. This 31yr old that identifies as a 10yr old pee-wee football player is going to be the league MVP and probably take his team to the championship. I wonder what the guy who tracked down pedophiles and beat them up think about this.

 


“There he goes. One of God's own prototypes.

A high-powered mutant of some kind, never even considered for mass production.

Too weird to live, and too rare to die.”

 

Twitter: @HKTheResistance

 

HipKat, on *** other h***, is genuine, unapoli***tically nasty, and w**** his hea** on his ******. jc856

I’ll just forward them to Bridgett. comssvet11

Seek help. soflabillsfan

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He’ll be 12 years old this year, hope he did some strength training for the new season

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6 minutes ago, Crinoline said:

 Has to be satire, there is no way our society has reached this point.

It is, but it makes a point about this gender bullshit


“There he goes. One of God's own prototypes.

A high-powered mutant of some kind, never even considered for mass production.

Too weird to live, and too rare to die.”

 

Twitter: @HKTheResistance

 

HipKat, on *** other h***, is genuine, unapoli***tically nasty, and w**** his hea** on his ******. jc856

I’ll just forward them to Bridgett. comssvet11

Seek help. soflabillsfan

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